super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
