MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
