Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Screwed.edu
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
