alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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