it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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