Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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