And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
