This girl is more easily done than said...
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
