she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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