I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
