discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
