The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Randomize
