make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
