she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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