I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
