I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
