It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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