she was so not down for the gang bang
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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