I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
