I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
