Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just threw up on my dentist
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
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If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize