Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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