Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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