11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
