i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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