So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
