I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
