Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
