Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
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