There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
