Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
