I heard we made out
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
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But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
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Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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