never play flip cup with pint glasses
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
