yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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