im drinking this country out of the recession.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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