you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
