You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
