I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
