Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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