thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
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I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
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Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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