I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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