Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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