Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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