I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
