He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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