Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
