if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
