When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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