if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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