He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
