Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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