I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
