That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
