this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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