Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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