Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
