I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
